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Dog Food

Today, my owner brought home a large bag of dog food. You know, that nasty dry crap that comes in a bag the size of a small sofa. The words “Best if Used by September 2013” were printed at the top.

Now this generated a number of thoughts in my head.

First, the word “best” is a stretch. Compared to steak or hot dogs, it certainly isn’t. I’ve had cat food that tastes better.

I then wondered what happens in 18 months that makes it suddenly change. Does the ground up shoe leather they use as filler spoil? When dry dog food goes stale, does it get hard or soft?

Finally, I questioned how they determined the date. Did some scientist who drew the short straw eat this every day for 18 months and suddenly notice a change? Did they find a bunch of dogs that could talk and conduct a focus group?

Wait…What’s that sound like gravel being poured into a ceramic bowl? Oh yeah…time to eat! Later…